Sermon: Building Stronger Marriages #1


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Purpose: To repair what has broken that it may bring God glory

Building Stronger Marriages #1 

God, Your Mate, and You

Second Chronicles 26.5

Don Ruhl • Savage Street, Grants Pass, Oregon • January 10, In the year of our Lord, 2016

Scripture Reader and Reading: Dave Fitzwater – Second Chronicles 26.3–5

Song Leader and Song Suggestions: Phil Joseph – No suggestions


  1. Lay the Foundation of the Right Attitude 
    1. Do you believe attitude is everything?
      1. He who has the right attitude, but lacks skill,
      2. will go further in life than the one who has skill, but has a bad attitude.
        1. Does this not also apply to marriage?
        2. Does one spouse know the attitude of the other spouse?
    2. Therefore, you must have a commitment to doing what is right:
      1. Are you willing to do what is right?
      2. Are you willing to do what is right, right now?
      3. Are you willing to let the Bible determine what is right?
      4. Are you willing to start reading the Bible daily to discover what is right?
        1. If you cannot commit to doing these things,
        2. do not expect your marriage to increase in strength.
    3. Do you get frustrated trying to understand God’s will in your life?
      1. If so, why?
      2. Do you find it is a contest between His will and your will?
        1. What kind of insight would that provide marital relationships?
        2. If I have problems with God’s will in my life,
          1. then troubles in marriage are just a night away, because
          2. marriage is not 50/50, but
            1. 100/100.
            2. That means we give ourselves 100% to our mates.
    4. The Spirit gave the Book of Proverbs for solving problems of living.
      1. Learn to start reading it, but
      2. avoid the trap of seeing your mate in the text, and
        1. what you think the proverb says he or she should be doing.
        2. See how you can apply the truth.
    5. Do you give the Lord the firstfruits of your paycheck?
      1. In other words, where do you put God on your list of priorities?
      2. He created marriage.
        1. Yet, if I give Him the leftovers instead of the first fruits,
        2. how can I expect to make the most out of something He created?
          1. Your weekly contribution reveals much about your character.
          2. It also reveals what you think of the Lord.
            1. What you think of the Lord shows up in many ways,
            2. including your weekly contribution, your marriage, etc.
    6. Do you have an attitude of submission to His will?
      1. Have you confessed that Jesus is Lord?
      2. If so, do you show it?

        21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven” (Matt 7.21).

        46 “But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say?” (Luke 6.46).

        1. Do you practice your faith at home?
        2. Malachi 2 shows that the Lord knows about our home life,

          14 …the Lord has been witness
          Between you and the wife of your youth…
          (Mal 2.14)
    7. Do you understand how all this relates to your marriage?
      1. Years ago, a sister in Christ sought my help for a bad marriage.
      2. Since her husband would not come to any meetings with her and me,
        1. I really did not want to talk alone with her, because
        2. it typically turns into a slamming session,
          1. where the one present slams the one not present, and
          2. that never solves anything.
      3. Therefore, I gave her book, Coping: A Biblical Approach.
        1. The first chapter speaks of glorifying God in our lives.
        2. When this sister read the first chapter,
          1. she questioned,
          2. What has this got to do with anything?
      4. Do you know what glorifying God, or
        1. any teaching of Scripture has to do with anything, including marriage?
        2. Are you so living your life,
          1. whether in marriage,
          2. at work, or wherever,
            1. for the glory of God,
            2. seeing what you do as a way to glorify God?
              1. Marriage is not about what we want, but
              2. about what God wants.
                1. Why did He create marriage?
                2. What does He hope to see in your marriage?
    8. Do you believe that everything begins with God?

      7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
      But fools despise wisdom and instruction.
      (Pro 1.7)

      10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
      And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
      (Pro 9.10)

  2. Enhance Your Marriage by Enhancing Your Relationship with God 
    1. If you learn the direction of love, the flow of love,
      1. first to receive the love of God, and
      2. second to love God, and
        1. third you shall be able to love others as He loves you.
        2. What will that do to your marriage?
          1. The world bombardes us daily with its notions of love.
          2. Therefore, you have to discipline yourself
            1. to discover what the Creator of love says about it.
            2. The place to start is the Scripture.
    2. Seek after God.
      1. He has already sought you.
      2. Now seek Him by
        1. seeing Him in everything.
        2. For example, in Acts 14, Paul and Barnabas said,

          17 “Nevertheless He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good, gave us rain from heaven and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness” (Acts 14.17).

          1. Paul and Barnabas could see the Lord in rain and the harvest.
          2. Can we not see the Lord in our marriages?
    3. Meditate on the Scriptures daily.
      1. Relate marriage to the Scriptures and the Scriptures to marriage.
      2. Even when the text does not address marriage specifically.
        1. For example, in Ephesians 4 commanded the following,

          31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Eph 4.31–32).
        2. Does that passage say anything about marriage?
          1. If it does not, can you still see how it could?
          2. Do you see how to apply it to your marriage?
            1. Why not see all of Scripture in this manner, because
            2. Jesus said the two greatest commandments are:
              1. Love God first.
              2. Love your neighbor second.
                1. On those two commands, He declared, rests Scripture.
                2. Therefore, all of Scripture seeks to get you either to
                  1. love God or
                  2. love your neighbor.
        3. Truly you show your love for God
          1. by showing love for your neighbor, and
          2. your spouse is your ultimate neighbor.
    4. Seek the will of God daily.
      1. This gets the attention off self.
      2. It causes you first
        1. to look upward and
        2. that will lead you to look outward.
          1. Are marriages enhanced by people
          2. looking inwardly or upwardly and outwardly?
    5. To understand that God is aware of all things, remember this,

      Christ is the head of this house,
      The unseen guest at every meal,
      The silent listener to every conversation.

  3. Time in the Scriptures 
    1. Read through the entire Bible annually.
      1. The Holy Spirit will feed you.
      2. The Lord shall be your guide for the issues of life.
    2. Read the chapter in the Proverbs that corresponds to the day of the month.
    3. Read the Song of Solomon on your anniversary
      1. with the husband reading the parts of Solomon and
      2. the wife reading the parts of the Shulamite.