The Heartbeat of Marriage

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The Heartbeat of Marriage 

Genesis 2.18–25

Don Ruhl • Savage Street, Grants Pass, Oregon • January 12, In the year of our Lord, 2014



  1. God could have created a mate for Adam 
    1. when He created Adam.
      1. He created the rest of nature that way;
      2. why not man?
    2. God wanted Adam (and Eve too), to observe something:
      1. God wanted them to see their similarities;
      2. God wanted them to see their deep need for one another; and
      3. God wanted them to see their complementary roles.
  2. Genesis 2 shows the Creator of marriage at work. 
    1. Knowing this passage helps us to know
      1. the foundation of marriage and
      2. what He intended for marriage.
    2. How can a marriage be successful without knowing these things?
      1. There are “good” marriages
      2. in which the spouses do not know God, but
        1. they adhere to things
        2. that He teaches for a successful marriage,
          1. although they are unaware of it.
    3. Following His plan and pattern for marriage creates a fulfilling experience.


  1. Genesis 2.18 Companionship

    18 And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen 2:18).

    1. What did God first observe?
      1. It is not good for man to be alone,
        1. which was the first time during creation week
        2. that He had said something was not good.
      2. Why it was not good for a man to be alone?
        1. Companionship is intrinsic with man.
        2. Man needs a helper similar to him.
      3. Are not these things also true of woman?
    2. The meaning of “a help meet” or “a helper comparable” to him.
      1. The margin of the ASV has “answering to.”
        1. That does not mean that she does everything he says.
        2. Rather it means
          1. comparable, compatible, and able
          2. to meet the needs of the other.
      2. God designed marriage
        1. so that spouses improve one another—
        2. which is what companionship does,
        3. whether in marriage or out of it,

          17 As iron sharpens iron,
          So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
          (Pro 27.17)

          7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered (1Pe 3.7).

  2. Genesis 2.19–20 Best Friends

    19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him (Gen 2.19–20).

    1. Is a dog truly a man’s best friend?
      1. Is a dolphin actually close to man’s intelligence?
      2. Is a monkey truly related to man?
      3. Does any animal come close as a suitable companion?
    2. Only woman is a true friend.
      1. Hearing God state the words of verse 18,
        1. would have impressed Adam.
        2. What would you have thought,
          1. if you had heard God say
          2. that it is not good for you to be alone?
      2. God allowed Adam
        1. to observe for himself
        2. the insufficiency of animals.
    3. Adam named the animals with appropriate names,
      1. realizing that none were compatible to him.
      2. Not one did he name “woman.”
  3. Genesis 2.21–22 Respect

    21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man (Gen 2.21–22).

    1. From what did God create woman? He made her from Adam’s rib.
      1. From what had God created man? God created man from the dust.
      2. Why did God use different ingredients?
        1. Man, even mankind, had to know
        2. that he is of the earth.
          1. Both man and woman need to know
          2. that they are of one another.
    2. In First Corinthians 11, Paul made a point that woman was taken out of man,

      7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man. 9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. 10 For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. 11 Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. 12 For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God (1Co 11.7–12).

      1. What should husbands and wives think in regard to one another?
        1. We are of one another.
        2. What then should we think?
      2. She should love and respect him, for
        1. he is part of her.
        2. If she degrades him,
          1. she degrades herself.
      3. He should love and respect her, for
        1. she is part of him.
        2. By loving and respecting his wife,
          1. he builds a happy relationship,

            28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church (Eph 5.28–29).

    3. With love, respect, and understanding for one another
      1. it is a joy to be in one another’s presence.
      2. Do you avoid people who are disrespectful toward you?
        1. If our spouses are extensions of ourselves,
        2. that leads to love and respect for the other.
    4. She was made (or built) from his rib.
      1. Consider N. B. Hardeman’s thoughts that he used in weddings,

        When the Spirit of God brooded over the garden of Eden, it was observed that the fowls of the air and the beasts of the field had each its respective mate, but that man for whom all else was created was left alone. Thus as a hermit he sighed until woman smiled upon him.

        Out of the dust of the earth man was created. He was akin to the hard rocks and the strong fibers of the trees, able to suffer and endure. When it was no longer good that he should be alone, woman, the sweetest, dearest, and best of all creation was wrought into existence. She was not made from man’s head, to be his ruler, nor from his heel, to be trampled under his foot, but from his side, that she might be loved and protected by him. She was then as pure as the lily unkissed by the morning sun, as beautiful as the full-blown rose, as modest as the daisy of the field or the drooping violet, as sweet as the pink, all covered with dew, as graceful as the fern, and as trusting as the clinging vine – N. B. Hardeman

      2. God took the time
        1. to put Adam into a deep sleep,
        2. to open his flesh,
        3. to take out a rib, and
        4. to close up the flesh.
          1. From that, God built a new human,
          2. similar to the man, but
            1. different enough
            2. to create two genders.
      3. Adam gave of himself.
        1. Today, a man’s wife does not have his literal rib in her, but
        2. she is like him in body, and
          1. in time they will share
          2. their thinking, aims, value, and goals.
    5. God brought her to the man,

      22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
      And obtains favor from the LORD.
      (Pro 18.22)

      14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
      But a prudent wife is from the LORD.
      (Pro 19.14)

      6 “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt 19.6).

      1. Therefore, we must love, respect, and accept our spouses, because
      2. rejection is not against one another, but
        1. against God.
        2. How does God feel when we reject His gift?
  4. Genesis 2.23 Unity

    23 And Adam said:

    “This is now bone of my bones
    And flesh of my flesh;
    She shall be called Woman,
    Because she was taken out of Man.”
    (Gen 2.23).

    1. Adam saw her as an equal human being.
    2. He recognized her similarities.
      1. He observed the animals and named them, but
        1. he did not see any with whom he could unite.
        2. He was still incomplete.
      2. The name he gave her showed his recognition of her similarities.
      3. “This is now…”
        1. Ever go shopping not knowing for what, until you find it?
        2. When Adam saw her
          1. he knew instantly
          2. that she was what he needed.
  5. Genesis 2.24 Cleaving

    24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen 2.24).

    1. Why does a man leave his parents?
      1. He goes to take on his own responsibility.
      2. He does not forsake them.
    2. He cleaves to his wife.
      1. He clings to her like he never wants to lose her.
      2. How do they cling to one another?
        1. By building
          1. companionship,
          2. friendship,
          3. respect,
          4. unity, and
          5. by not being ashamed of one another.
        2. Also by being careful to please one another,

          33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband (1Co 7.33–34).

    3. They become one flesh.
      1. They become like one person.
        1. Their goals, joys, and heartaches become as though they are one.
        2. Everything that was separate now becomes united.
      2. Technically, a man and a woman become one flesh when married, but
        1. in spirit they become one flesh when they cleave to one another.
        2. Some remained married, knowing divorce is wrong, but
          1. they are miserable.
          2. Though not divorced something is still not right, if not cleaving.
  6. Genesis 2.25 Unashamed

    25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Gen 2.25).

    1. God created the state of nakedness between husband and wife.
    2. Therefore, they were not ashamed to be with one another.


  1. It was after the creation of marriage, 
    1. that God declared everything to be,
    2. not only good, but better,

      31 Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day (Gen 1.31).

      1. Since it was all very good
      2. there were no provisions for divorce in the beginning.
  2. The Lord uses marriage repeatedly in Scripture 
    1. to illustrate His relationship with His people.
    2. To be one with the Lord is very good.
      1. To be separated from the Lord is very bad.
      2. However, you can do something about that tonight.